Tired.
Sooooo I haven't blogged much recently. There are a few reasons for that, some of which some of you know about.
1. Personal. James and I have decided to split up. It's mutual. It's terribly amicable. It is the right thing. We ♥ each other, but we're both adults and we have independently come to the realization that things just weren't working out. We made the decision over a month ago now, and are living separately, and we're enjoying being friends. It's sad, but we're happier. And that's all that matters.
2. WORK. Crrrrrrraaaaaazy. For lots of complicated reasons, the person managing the technology side of the Big Pharma Project I'm on was needed on another project. Thus: I am in charge. I am also the lead developer for said Big Pharma Project. Lead developer + tech manager = busy busy bee. With lots of job satisfaction, but still.
Personal is hugely complicated and tiring, but honestly, it's the tons and tons of work that have been keeping me from posting properly. It can all be summed up with one word: Tired.
Tired but... but okay. Good, even.
Caffeine and graffiti
Do you ever get to that point where you're exhausted, but you're so hopped up on caffeine that sleep is completely elusive?
*grumble*
Don't look for a lucid post here, I reached my lucidity limit when I posted to the London Metblog earlier.
New maps
There's been a lot of talk about people moving to Canada after the reelection of Bush. This has spurred lots of maps and suggestions that we should just redraw the borders and create the United States of Canada and "Jesusland".
My question is this: supposing that happened, and the borders were redrawn, and the North seceded, would the resulting part of America that Bush then controlled be even a fraction as powerful as is the current America?
Crisis of Patriotism
I know that everyone and his brother has blogged about the election, but it's evoked strong feelings in me so I'm going to do it too. I don't care if it's overdone. So nyah.
I wasn't able to watch the election as it happened, of course, because the interesting reporting started when I was in bed sleeping, but I did watch the end of it in the morning online. I was amazed when I first saw the map of the country. Blue around the edges and, of course, Illinois, and a sea of red throughout. As the day went on, it turned out to be the Great Lakes region that was blue, not just Illinois, but overall effect was pretty much unchanged. It was staggering.
Bush won, as we all know by now. Did that surprise me? No. Not at all. Did that disappoint me? Yes. Very much. I felt what can only be described as heartache. And not just because Bush was reelected. Not even mostly because Bush was reelected.
I was sad because I felt something had been severed between me and the institution we call America. I love my country. Dearly. I love everything it stands for - freedom, democracy, the American dream... it's hokey, I know, but so be it. I love that America is about fresh beginnings, that it's meritocratic. I love the glamour. I love the countryside. I love the cities.
Note that this does not mean I think America is a perfect place. Of course, it isn't. It has more than its share of problems. Gun crime, the religious right, the horrible stuff that's going on in Iraq. The lack of social services for people with lower incomes. The ridiculously insular culture. It's definitely not all good.
But I love it in spite of its flaws, because it's my country.
Now, though... now I feel sort of lost. I thought I knew America, but it's really surprised me. Not only do I not agree with the leader that more than half of the citizens chose, I don't comprehend how on Earth they could've voted for him.
America is founded on religious freedom, yes, but not on religion itself. I find spirituality similar to sex. We should all have some (the more the better!) but it's a private matter and it should be kept to ourselves. Here we have a president that invokes God at every opportunity. Who wants to bring prayer into schools. This is private stuff. It doesn't belong in federal politics. 'Separation between church and state' is something that was drilled into my head in every government class I took, so I feel betrayed. I feel like someone must've been lying to me all those years because, actually, America isn't about that separation. America doesn't want it.
America wants George W. Bush. 11 states have said they don't want to recognize gay marriages. I don't understand a country that wants these things. I can't relate.
I'm having a crisis of patriotism.
Lotto or Contract?
I've just bought a lotto ticket. Although I would rather exchange on the house today, I've decided that my chances of winning the lotto are at least as high.
Edit: Clearly our luck with the lotto is as bad as our luck with this stupid contract. We only matched one number.
Drunken Tales
James: You know how you said when you're drunk the first thing you notice is that you can't feel your teeth or your lips?
Me: Yeah, can you not feel your teeth?
James: I can't feel my ass.
More details about the 'moving out barbecue' forthcoming.
Serfdom
Merriam-Webster defines the word serf as: a member of a servile feudal class bound to the soil and subject to the will of his lord.
I think we should bring the word back into common usage. Make it a job title! Anyone else on board, here?
Edit: This is far more apt for the modern world if you substitute "his desk" or "his computer" for "the soil."
