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Crisis of Patriotism

I know that everyone and his brother has blogged about the election, but it's evoked strong feelings in me so I'm going to do it too. I don't care if it's overdone. So nyah.

I wasn't able to watch the election as it happened, of course, because the interesting reporting started when I was in bed sleeping, but I did watch the end of it in the morning online. I was amazed when I first saw the map of the country. Blue around the edges and, of course, Illinois, and a sea of red throughout. As the day went on, it turned out to be the Great Lakes region that was blue, not just Illinois, but overall effect was pretty much unchanged. It was staggering.

Bush won, as we all know by now. Did that surprise me? No. Not at all. Did that disappoint me? Yes. Very much. I felt what can only be described as heartache. And not just because Bush was reelected. Not even mostly because Bush was reelected.

I was sad because I felt something had been severed between me and the institution we call America. I love my country. Dearly. I love everything it stands for - freedom, democracy, the American dream... it's hokey, I know, but so be it. I love that America is about fresh beginnings, that it's meritocratic. I love the glamour. I love the countryside. I love the cities.

Note that this does not mean I think America is a perfect place. Of course, it isn't. It has more than its share of problems. Gun crime, the religious right, the horrible stuff that's going on in Iraq. The lack of social services for people with lower incomes. The ridiculously insular culture. It's definitely not all good.

But I love it in spite of its flaws, because it's my country.

Now, though... now I feel sort of lost. I thought I knew America, but it's really surprised me. Not only do I not agree with the leader that more than half of the citizens chose, I don't comprehend how on Earth they could've voted for him.

America is founded on religious freedom, yes, but not on religion itself. I find spirituality similar to sex. We should all have some (the more the better!) but it's a private matter and it should be kept to ourselves. Here we have a president that invokes God at every opportunity. Who wants to bring prayer into schools. This is private stuff. It doesn't belong in federal politics. 'Separation between church and state' is something that was drilled into my head in every government class I took, so I feel betrayed. I feel like someone must've been lying to me all those years because, actually, America isn't about that separation. America doesn't want it.

America wants George W. Bush. 11 states have said they don't want to recognize gay marriages. I don't understand a country that wants these things. I can't relate.

I'm having a crisis of patriotism.

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